Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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