Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
