they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Randomize
