i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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