Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
MIDGETS
????
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
