okay pat passed out under dana's car
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
