Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
do herpes really smell.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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