I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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