How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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