After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
