what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
