Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
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now i know why i became what i already was.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
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