i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
