I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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