I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
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