Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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