Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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