$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
