Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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