just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
