I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
