Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
