I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
We need to get me chipped asap
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
