How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
