Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
