She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
