I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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