Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
