or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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