How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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