who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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