Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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