My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
