there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
