Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
