Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
