Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
