i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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