Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
