It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Are my feet made of real feet?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Randomize
