Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
