That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
It was like getting head from an anaconda
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
