k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize