Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
