Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
