My first STD was from a foam party
This is not my ceiling
I'm jealous of your bromance
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?