Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in