I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Randomize
