Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
