Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?

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  (914): Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business? http://tfl.nu/3lau
  Replies (36) Good night (640) Bad night (882)
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  (+49): View more from Germany

  i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.

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  (+49): i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve. http://tfl.nu/21ct
  Replies (7) Good night (2944) Bad night (704)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.

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  (703): We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college. http://tfl.nu/pxwn
  Replies (11) Good night (4531) Bad night (603)
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  (914): View more from New York

  explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?

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  (914): explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts? http://tfl.nu/duu8
  Replies (15) Good night (3926) Bad night (788)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.

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  (313): so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT. http://tfl.nu/lt7f
  Replies (27) Good night (1080) Bad night (6146)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny

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  (206): And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny http://tfl.nu/a88g
  Replies (17) Good night (6464) Bad night (983)
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  (516): View more from New York

  The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.

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  (516): The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home. http://tfl.nu/xzym
  Replies (13) Good night (6272) Bad night (1064)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.

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  (314): I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time. http://tfl.nu/5nj6
  Replies (28) Good night (1663) Bad night (3703)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?

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  (570): Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow? http://tfl.nu/hfr5
  Replies (14) Good night (3590) Bad night (773)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards

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  (520): This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards http://tfl.nu/ehov
  Replies (9) Good night (3416) Bad night (621)
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  (559): View more from California

  well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"

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  (559): well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle" http://tfl.nu/25nv
  Replies (7) Good night (868) Bad night (2452)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.

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  (815): I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn. http://tfl.nu/iw95
  Replies (1) Good night (1522) Bad night (618)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville

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  (574): i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville http://tfl.nu/bgwo
  Replies (9) Good night (1305) Bad night (477)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)

  (1-803): View more from South Carolina

  Did you watch the carolina game tonight?

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  (803): i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;) (1-803): Did you watch the carolina game tonight? http://tfl.nu/ae37
  Replies (18) Good night (2237) Bad night (846)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'

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  (410): I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like' http://tfl.nu/uuvy
  Replies (5) Good night (396) Bad night (444)

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