Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
23 People Confess The Trashiest Thing They’ve Seen In Person
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
19 Transgender People Reveal The First Sign That They Were Trans
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.