he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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