Fuck appropriateness.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
