5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
