How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
