Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Enjoy the penises
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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