TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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