I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
