What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
