hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
