Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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