so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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