Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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