Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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