Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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