Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
