Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
we're making bets on your personal life
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Randomize
