Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
My pussy is not your playground.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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