we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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