i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Randomize
