ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
