Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
