Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
